And the difference came about her slowly. She saw it happening but against everything she believed in she put up nothing more than a half-hearted, flimsy resistance. And eventually she sighed and let the change encompass her almost completely, filling her heart with the more important things, and getting rid of all the trivial fears and the uncertainties, the secret heartbreaks. She is still /her/, but it's a different sort of her, without the heartbreak that made her magical.
You know that place between sleeping and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where she'll always remember. And her blog, too, holds memories, memories that will never fade away.
She has plans for returning to Neverland, Orion, whatever you call it, but not for a long while. Not until she has experienced more of what this world has to offer.
Thank you, readers, for reading my story.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ari, you're not going to stop posting here, are you? What's happening? I hope you're okay, dove. This post was really quite heartbreaking. At the beginning it seems like you're writing about some poor fictional child forced to change before she's ready, but it turns out it is actually a self-portrait.
ReplyDeleteOh Arcadia, it's something that I've been experiencing for awhile. I'll return in the summer hopefully. But for now... it's impossible to be two people, and I have to disentangle myself in order to move forward.
DeleteIt's also just... well, it's confusing to explain exactly, but I'll have a little white bird post about it soon.
Aww, I'll miss you, Ari! I wish you the best as you wend your way through the forest known as life. Your story has been a treasure, and I am delighted that I got to read it. xx
ReplyDeleteMy deepest thank you, Melee, for being there with words of encouragement since the beginning. xxx
DeleteGoodbye, beautiful. I'll be waiting. Come back with lots of adventure stories to share. x
ReplyDeleteThanks B, I hope I won't disappoint x
DeleteI'm glad that you are venturing out dearest, and I know you'll come back. I'm glad your heart isn't broken anymore, I fear I've apologized to mine far too much for turning it into such a broken and tragic little thing. I'm no more than a strange, feral, inexpertly put together spook wandering around with violet half-moons and knob knees. I'm sad to see you go, but always remember to keep the magic in your veins, even if just a pink sunrise or all of those small moments suspended in amber. I'm glad that you aren't suffering the same lovely and annihilating dreams as I (but they're only the beginning of everything I asked for, and I knew the price such things come with). I know that summer will me star-filled and adventurous.
ReplyDeletexx
For awhile I thought it wasn't broken anymore... It's easy to put heartbreak aside when you have homework and school and sports and friends to worry about, and you never give yourself a moment to recollect on it. But you can't hold it at bay forever. And indeed, why would you want to? I'd much rather have a broken scorpio heart than have no heart at all. I'd have nothing to write about otherwise, and memories are too sweet to want to forget... however fleeting. xx
DeleteOh! The uncertainties and secret heartbreaks one knows too well...and to have overcome them is a great feat indeed! We each have our own path to walk, to tip-toe, to run, twirl, and dance through, vanishing in and out like a shadow or an apparition in the mirror, and I will be wishing upon stars for your growth and happiness. You have enriched my world with much inspiration. Take the time you need as we await your return..
ReplyDeleteP.S. My congratulations to you for having won my giveaway, lovely heart!
Many thanks for the beautiful gifts, dearest Contortionist. xxxx
DeleteI'll miss you, darling... but I wish you the best of luck on your adventures in this world! I hope to hear about them when you come back. xx
ReplyDeleteI feel almost deflated in that I have nothing huge to say... just a million different crystal fragments. I hope I don't disappoint you xx
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